I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
