This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
