Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
be right there i have to get my cape
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
