there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
