I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
