At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
