have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
