You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
