I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
