He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
