so that wasnt chicken after all
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
