No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You left your phone here
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