You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
