it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
