Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
