My room smells like vodka and shame
i think my tv is drunk
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize