I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
