You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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