I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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