I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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