just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
