Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Less talking, more tequila
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize