Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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