woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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