I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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