Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize