He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
