i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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