Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
