11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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