You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we're chasing vodka with high fives
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize