I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
