omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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