There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
