I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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