dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
