I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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