just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize