Just cropdusted the office
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
