Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
