fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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