can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
