I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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