I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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