Im at strip club and am horny
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
