it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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