Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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