Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
