He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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