so that wasnt chicken after all
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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