So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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