we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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