she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
