I want you more than these girls want KFC
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
