The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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