If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Let's get the cat blown out
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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