If i come over, it means nothing
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
