we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
