Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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