please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
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Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
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I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize