I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i out mim tonsoeep
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