My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
