please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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