drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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