PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
